Your Positive IDs:
Remember Who You Are
Your Positive Inner Drivers (or Positive IDs, for short) are the strengths, qualities, talents, and core values that form your essence as a person. They represent your inner potential, and can be extremely useful in turbulent times because they are a lifeline to the core of who you are and how you want to live your life.
Working with Positive IDs is one of my favorite parts of the Positive Separation Method―not only because it’s fun to discover more about who we are and what we value, but because it reveals the beauty of who we are in a new way, and how we can make use of our personal greatness in a concrete and results-producing way.
What Are Your Positive IDs?
Take out your notebook and write down your Positive IDs!
Many of your Positive IDs have been part of you since you were a child. They are part of your innate makeup as a human being, and are as unique as your fingerprints. They can serve as a source of enormous energy, power, and internal connection, especially now―but before you can unlock their potential and work with them, you need to figure out what they are!
To do this, ask yourself two key questions:
“What motivates me to take action?”
“What makes me feel good?”
Then, make a list of every word and phrase that comes up as an answer to those questions.
You might write words like:
Commitment
Caring
Humor
Nurturing
Family-centered
Craftsy
Any word that you can think of that motivates you, makes you feel good, or just gives you a light feeling inside yourself is a potential Positive ID. Keep going until you have at least 5-10 words that truly represent you.
How to Apply Your Positive IDs
Now that you’ve come up with your 5-10 Positive IDs, how can you put them to work in your separation process and the path to your new future?
Your Positive IDs are energies that you can put to use in various ways at any hour of the day. They can be reminders of your most positive qualities when things get challenging. For example, if you are having a tough week and experiencing challenging communications with your ex-partner, you can remind yourself, “Trust and caring are two of my most powerful Inner Drivers.” Then, you can ask yourself, “How can I apply trust in this situation? How can I apply caring?”
When you apply your Positive IDs in conjunction with your commitments to yourself and those you love, your goals, and your vision for a happy life, you will see the best path forward, even in uncomfortable situations.
You can also use your Positive IDs as mental and emotional “building blocks” for your new life. Ask yourself, “How can I put my skill at crafts to work?” or “How can I invite more nurturing into my new life?” When you ask these questions with an open mind and heart, you’ll be amazed at what inspiration comes to you!
You can find a more complete list of potential Positive Inner Drivers in my book, ‘Happy Again! The Art of Positive Separation’
Choose a Star Action as a
Gift to Yourself Today!
The Star Actions are part of my Positive Separation Method and give you a positive boost in the direction of happiness.
Ask a family member for their favorite recipe. Write an e-mail to a family member and ask their favorite recipe. Make it, and send them a picture back with the result. (If this person lives nearby, invite them over for the meal!)
Give all your shoes a polish and smile at them. They have carried you around for many miles and will join you on your new path!
Prepare a special Positive ID event for yourself or with others. Organize a few hours, a day, or a weekend in which a good deal of your IDs will get attention (for me, a great way to get in touch with my Positive IDs would be a hiking weekend with family, cooking on a campfire, singing, and laughing).
Eveline Jurry is the creator of the Positive Separation Method™ and the author of three books, including ‘Happy Again! The Art of Positive Separation’. From her home base in Amsterdam, The Netherlands, she teaches people how to create a happy future during and after divorce or separation.