Positive Separation: The Way to Make Lemonade After a Breakup!
Have you ever listened to Beyoncé’s album, Lemonade? Lemonade is Beyoncé’s response to injustices that permeate daily life in the United States. She addresses relationships’ complexities, like her husband, rap icon Jay-Z’s infidelity. One song on the album, “Freedom,” samples a recording of Jay-Z’s grandmother saying, “I had my ups and downs, but I always find the inner strength to pull myself up. I was served lemons, but I made lemonade.”
The Positive Separation Method and my book, ‘Happy Again! The Art of Positive Separation’, contain recipes to teach you how to make sweet lemonade from life’s most bitter fruits. Separation is difficult because it involves (among other inconveniences) heartache and change. Whether you are separating from your spouse, your partner, or a friend – change forces us to question our worth, our values, and the choices we make.
In the midst of all of these “ups and downs”, we are forced grapple with what works and what doesn’t work in our lives and to “find the inner strength” to persevere, to find a way to make ourselves the tastiest lemonade. The Positive Separation Method gives you something to hold onto, it adds positivity straight away, and it energizes you on a daily basis. Your revitalized happiness is the result!
The Positive Separation Method consists of five distinct steps. Step One is to disconnect from your old life, the time with your ex, and create your vision for the new. In Steps Two and Three, you will learn to focus on what you can control and to reconnect with and empower your core. This will give you great hands-on tools. During Step Four, you will take loving action to care for yourself and become happy again. In Step Five you will begin to move forward with confidence into a new, happy future.
These steps are intentional, with concrete actions that will help you to minimize daily chaos; keep your energy elevated so you can get through daily tasks; work with difficult emotions; connect to your vision for a new, happy life; meet your immediate and long-term goals; and stay empowered through what may be one of the most challenging times of your life.
As you complete each of these five steps, you will become one step closer to a solid foundation for your happy new life. Focus on yourself and your vision, not on the chaos that may surround you. In moments of transition we always wonder, “What comes next on my journey? What do I want to take in my suitcase with me? What do I want to leave behind? Why?”
Positive Separation is a practice of separating from a loved one that highlights the positives in an otherwise dreary experience. By following the steps outlined in the Positive Separation Method, you will be happy again! You will successfully separate from your partner and feel great as you honor yourself in a respectful and loving way. You will get to know what to do, day by day, and create a map for the rest of your life. You will define and cultivate your joy and happiness. That’s what this process is all about: acknowledging difficulty and emotions, marking a date to move ahead; learning, growing, making plans (attractive ones!), and moving ahead.
Continue following the Happy Again! blog, in which all five steps will be explained to you!
Choose a Star Action as a
Gift to Yourself Today!
The Star Actions are part of my Positive Separation Method and give you a positive boost in the direction of happiness. Here are some Star Actions to make your day - and your future - even brighter! Learn more about Star Actions in this post.
Making lemonade!
Your Favorite Lemonade: Make your favorite lemonade today! It might be Lemon Lemonade, Strawberry, Grenadine, or any other lemonade – google recipes. It also might be a healthy (and or sweet) juice. This is just where you put your love, attention, dedication, and action into making a treat for yourself. To cheer up your life a little more, accessorize your glass with a fun straw, a flower, or a piece of fruit. Sit down, close your eyes, and enjoy with an open heart this spark of Happy Again in a near, not-too-far future.
Up and Down Towards Happiness: This is a simple exercise and makes things clear in a very down-to-earth way. Find some stairs. Maybe they are in your house, at work, or in a shopping mall. Do not have on your prettiest dress or best suit as this is a little bit of a workout. Walk up the stairs 10-20 times (depending on the amount of stairs). Every time you climb up, notice how this activity feels. It requires energy, breath, and focus. Now, notice how you feel when you reach the top of the stairs.
When you walk down the stairs, observe how you feel. This time, you probably feel much lighter, still focused, and happier because it might be easier to walk down than up. Experience the routine motion and the waves of energy, rising and falling, as you climb up and going down. Each time you reach the top of the stairs, you can relax a little when you walk back down. This exercise demonstrates that life is a continuous movement of ups and downs and you are capable of moving with it. Especially if you know million people before you are happy again after their breakup or divorce.
Love Sign: Get a very, very large piece of paper (or put together 20 or more A4 papers). Draw a big heart on it. Put your own name in the middle. Maybe add a photo of today or draw some flowers, happy signs, etc. Hang it on the wall or fold it in a small pile with a ribbon around it. Enjoy the (crazy) feeling! You Love You!
Eveline Jurry is the creator of the Positive Separation Method™ and the author of three books, including ‘Happy Again! The Art of Positive Separation’. From her home base in Amsterdam, The Netherlands, she teaches people how to create a happy future during and after divorce or separation.